So heres my story about my first time.
I'm a bit of a prude.
Or at least I was. I believed that women shouldn't have sex until they really really knew a guy. Not wanting to be a hypocrite myself, I decided to do just that. I met this boy when I was 14, and he was everything I've ever wanted in a guy. After about a year of dating him, I decided I was in love with him. I wasn't the typical teenage girl who was "in love and getting married" after dating for a month. In fact, I wouldn't let him kiss me until we'd been dating for two months! I wanted to go very, very, very slow, mainly because I wanted to make sure that he wanted me for me, and not for sex.
So we'd been dating exactly two years and seven months before we decided we wanted to have sex. It took both of us (well, mainly me) a long time to decide that we were ready, and now that both of us were 17, we decided that after homecoming we would have sex for the first time. We were meticulous in planning and setting up. We bought a lot of condoms (just in case all of them should break or something) spermicide, ect. Anyway, after homecoming, we drove to an empty parking lot and moved to the back seat of my sad Pontiac sports car.
The pain was excruciating. I couldn't move, but he was patient and gentle. I had kinda figured that I wouldn't end up having an orgasm out of it, so I just concentrated on keeping a look out so we wouldn't get caught. Romantic, huh?
Well, I was beginning to think that this sex thing wasn't all it was cracked up to be, when he stopped, kissed me softly and said "I love you with all of my heart and soul." He could have done anything he wanted with me at that point; I wanted to cry. After he came, he pulled out really quickly and examined the condom to make sure it hadn't burst. Then we both went home.
I was so sore when I walked in the door. My mom, not one to beat around the bush, looked at me within seconds of walking in and said "So did you have sex?" and me, startled shot back a quick "No!" and went directly to my room. Of course I called my best friend and told her all about it. Thats what women do right? Talk about sex.
So about a week passed, both of us really nervous that we were going to be caught some how, or that our parents would find out. We both wrote in our journals about it, but in cryptic code, another language that only the two of us knew. Well, one night, I was on the phone with one of my friends and I got another call, so I clicked over his dad was on the line, asking for my mom. I told him that she wasn't home yet, and then clicked back over in hysterics to my friend, telling her that he knew and that he was going to tell my mom. I hung up with my friend and tried to call my mom over and over again. I didn't want him to tell her, I wanted me to be the one to do it. I was crying by this point, and I couldn't get a hold of her. She walked in the door and I met her there, "Mom I need to talk to you!"
"Damn right you do.." That was it. She knew, that bastard had called and told her. We sat down in the living room and she looked at me, "Your boyfriends father just made him call me in tears to tell me that you had sex." Hearing this, I just started crying more. How could he have found out? My mom turned and hugged me, and I was kind of shocked. She said "I'm not mad that you had sex, Im mad that you lied to me. I think that his father is over reacting..I mean, you two have been dating for almost three years? What did he think that you guys would do? He's acting like it's not exactly what he was doing at 17!"
I was speechless. To enhance this feeling of "Wait did that just happen?" even more, my mom started asking for details. "Did it hurt?" and I started laughing and said "It was the worst pain Ive ever felt." She asked if we'd used protection and I told her that we had. She told me that I was getting on birth control as soon as possible. That was okay with me. So after this ordeal, she called his father back and pretty much bitched him out for what he did. My mom was really really cool about the entire thing.
The next day in school when we saw each other, we hugged really tight, and I told him that I had no regrets. He told me that he didn't either. I asked him how his dad found out. He said, "My dad not only broke into my room, but he found the journal and then found the key to the language that it was written in and decoded it. He was crazy. When I walked in the door he pinned me down on the couch and screamed at me about it. Then he made me call your mom." Apparently his step mom began talking about me like I was some whore. Imagine that, me, a whore! For having sex with a boy I'd been dating for two and a half years?
Because of this incident, he and I didn't have sex for another five months. Then, our mothers and we deviously created a plan. They said that we could spend the night together!
So, for our three year anniversary, we went out to a nice dinner and a movie. We got all dressed up and everything. Then we came back to an empty house and made love, the way it was supposed to happen. It was sweet and romantic and everything I'd wanted it to be. So when people ask me about my first time, I think of our anniversary, not homecoming. Unfortunately, his father took something that was supposed to be special to me, and made it dirty and ugly. For that, I really cant forgive him. But I'm over it, because I'm still dating this same boy (its been five years now) and its true-what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger.
-W
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